From the musical “Initiative Q”: “The Internet is for Scams”

[KATIE MONSTER:]
The internet is really really great

[BITCOIN MONSTER:]
For scams

[KATE:]
I’ve got a fast connection so I don’t have to wait

[BITCOIN:]
For scams

[KATE:]
Huh?
There’s always some new site

[BITCOIN:]
For scams!

[KATE:]
I browse all day and night

[BITCOIN:]
For scams!

[KATE:]
It’s like I’m surfing at the speed of light

[BITCOIN:]
For scams!

[KATE:]
Bitcoin!

[BITCOIN:]
The internet is for scams

[KATE:]
BITCOIN!

[BITCOIN:]
The internet is for scams

[KATE:]
What are you doing!?

[BITCOIN:]
Why you think the net was born?
Scams scams scams

[KATE:]
Biiiiiitcoin!

[BITCOIN:]
Oh! Hello, Kate Monster

[KATE:]
You are ruining my song

[BITCOIN:]
Oh, me sorry, me no mean to

[KATE:]
Well, if you wouldn’t mind, please
Being quiet for a minute so I can finish?

[BITCOIN:]
Me no talkie

[KATE:]
Good
I’m glad we have this new technology

[BITCOIN:]
For scams

[KATE:]
Which gives us untold opportunity

[BITCOIN:]
For sca—
Oops, sorry

[KATE:]
Right from you own desktop

[BITCOIN:]
For—

[KATE:]
You can research, browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and you’re ready to stop

[BITCOIN:]
For scams!

[KATE:]
BITCOIN!

[BITCOIN:]
The internet is for scams!

[KATE:]
Noooo

[BITCOIN:]
The internet is for scams!

[KATE:]
BITCOIN

[BITCOIN:]
Me up all night sending my coins to scams, scams, scams!

[KATE:]
That’s gross! You’re a sucker!

[BITCOIN:]
Ah, sticks and stones, Kate Monster

[KATE:]
No, really, you’re a sucker
Normal people don’t sit at home and sign up
To scams on the internet

[BITCOIN:]
Ohhhh?

[KATE:]
What?!

[BITCOIN:]
You have no idea
Ready, normal people?

[BRIAN]
Ready!

[GARY]
Ready!

[ROD]
Ready!

[BITCOIN:]
Lemme hear it!

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
The internet is for scams!

[PRINCETON:]
Sorry, Kate

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
The internet is for scams!

[PRINCETON:]
I speculate!

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
All these boys will send their coins
For scams, scams, scams!

[KATE:]
The internet is not for scams!

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
Scams, scams—

[KATE:]
Hold on a second!
Now I know for a fact that you, Rod, check your art photos and tasteful imagery online …

[ROD:]
That’s correct!

[KATE:]
And Brian, you buy things on Pornhub.com …

[BRIAN:]
Sure!

[KATE:]
And Gary, you keep selling your collectible Playboys on eBay …

[GARY:]
Yes I do!

[KATE:]
And Princeton, you sent me that candid online birthday card …

[PRINCETON:]
True!

[BITCOIN:]
Oh, but Kate
What you think he do… after? Hmm?

[PRINCETON:]
Yeah

[KATE:]
Ewww!

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
The internet is for scams!

[KATE:]
Gross!

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
The internet is for scams!

[KATE:]
I hate scams

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
That moonshot just lost the lot …

[KATE:]
I hate you men!

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
… to scams, scams, scams!
(Harmonizing) Scams, scams, scams, scams

[KATE:]
I’m leaving!

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
Scams, scams, scams, scams
Scams, scams, scams, scams

[KATE:]
I hate the Internet!

[BITCOIN AND GUYS:]
Scams, scams, scams, scams

[BITCOIN:]
The Internet is for

[BITCOIN AND SOME:]
The Internet is for

[BITCOIN AND ALL:]
The Internet is for scams!

[BITCOIN:]
Yeah!

 

the original

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I’m so sorry.

not sorry really